Finding self compassion in a world that says more, go to the next level, higher your education, your children need to buy this or that. Trying to be perfect. Right? The list is endless and” burn out” maybe right around the corner.
But where are you in all this? Is your rhythm or flow constantly disrupted?
Perfectionism definition; refusal to accept any standard short of maintaing perfect grades, body, exercise routine, religion, moral, social or political status. Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all who said you were supposed to be perfect
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Take a look at 3 Elements of self-compassion:
1. Mindfulness vs. Overidentification
Self -compassion requires taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exagerated. The key word here is balanced or moderation is good. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity. [Dr Kristen Neff]
2. Self-kindess vs. Self-judgement
Self -compassion usually means being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer , fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or telling others our self -criticism of ourselves. Self compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing are life dfficulties which is inevitable. So rather than getting angry when life falls short of ideals. When you not get exactly what you want and reality is denied or fought against our suffering can increase in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism. When this reality is finally accepted with empathy and kindness, greater mental and emotional calmness and even temper has a better chance to be experienced especially in difficult situations. [Dr Kristen Neff]
3. Common humanity vs.Isolation
What this means ifs frustration of not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of being isolated as if “one could think im the only person suffering or making mistakes”. We all make mistakes. the very fact that we are “human” means that we are mortal, vulnerable and imperfect.
This is huge, for me, the fact that self -compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of a shared human experience, something we all go through rather than being something that just happens to “you” “me” alone. [Dr Kristen Neff]
Balance in your life
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